Surgery tomorrow...

So tomorrow is the big day! I finally get my gall bladder removed! It is going to be an early day. My mother in law and I will be leaving the house by 6:30 with Ella : / to be at the surgery center by 7:00. I am glad it is early since I am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight! I am not looking forward to recovery but I am looking forward to no more attacks! They are awful and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. Worst pain ever and I have had 2 kids, 2 broken arms, and several sprains!! Anyway....on another subject I am really screwing up the whole weight loss thing. I keep trying to start over and keep messing up, getting discouraged, and starting again. I can't seem to find my "want to". I have a ton of reasons why I need to lose weight but I can't grasp the motivation to persevere. It is frustrating. I feel like a failure for sure! Mark is doing so well and shows so much discipline but all I can think about is mint oreos! :) It seems once I get a food in my head that I am craving my mind won't stop till I have had it. I hate that about myself. I wish I was one of those people who just eat because they have to. God did not make me that way and I am trying to figure out the plan he has for my struggling with this issue. I guess time will tell as I continue to battle the bulge!