Well, I totally failed

I knew I was going to blow it. I am so mad at myself!! I have got to get my act together. I have 127 days to now lose 25 pounds...that's right went from 172.6 to 175 overnight!! That is what cheese fries, brownies, and ice cream will do to you. I want to quit, throw in the towel and eat all day. I probably will. Right now I feel like such a failure. I honestly have good intentions. I really want to lose weight but I don't seem to want it as much as food. What is wrong with me? I look at people with addictions and I judge. Not always, but I admit I do sometimes. How can someone drink so much and destroy their family? How can someone hurt their body with crack or other drugs?? Those are the questions that go through my mind when I see an addict. But what about me? I am huring myself, my family, my life by the addiction to food. Why isn't that enough to make me stop? God gave me this body and it is His temple. Why must I destroy it with junk? I don't know. I honestly do not know why I do what I do. As I write this I am thinking about going in the kitchen and eating.....eating eating and eating. I will start tomorrow I say. I have said that a lot. Tomorrow never comes, it is always just today. I have to make that decision to start today. I am not sure I am there. I do know I am running out of time.